Kisses from Brazil

Yah I have a crush on you.

I’ve been following your tumblr for a while.

I’m not weird though. Whatever.

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Really? Are you sure?

“Wat have i done wrong to you…are you too good to be talked to by the likes of me…wow fame is getting to your head…wait a minute your not even famous…well its true you cant judge a book by its cover…and thats defo true with you…you seem friendly but ha boy i was wrong…removing u as contact why wud i want a bitch” - Amanada’s Vimeo Account

Great news!  If you ever want to be a bitch just don’t respond to a stranger’s email.

“Even my wife commented how cute you were in that clip. When you cut your hair, in later clips you posted, it didn’t look as good, mostly because it did not seem to suit you as well. But the latest two videos you posted, you appear to have altered something - eyebrows reshaped, I think - and you look much nicer. The look suits you better, I think. Maybe that might be why Josh is picking on you so much. I’m not trying to hit on you, by the way.” -Vimeo User

I really like this one because he insults the way I chose to wear my hair, but is really into my ungroomed eyebrows.   By reshaped eyebrows I think he means gnarly eyebrow.

I’m not sure why I’m doing this. Is it because I’ve been watching Grey’s Anatomy all day long? Is Grey’s Anatomy making me feel unhealthy? I think my left arm is hurting. Doesn’t that mean heart attack? Shit.

My name is Ben. I’m 21 years old. I can’t be having a heart attack. I hope I’m not. I weigh 297 pounds. I’m 6”0.

Your name is Amanda Lyn Ferri. I know that because I watch JakeandAmir videos, and every once in a while you show up. Ticklish style. Don’t worry. I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend that I love. That’s proably why I’m emailing you. I am going to lose 47 pounds. 250 sounds a lot better than 297 doesn’t it?

I honestly have no clue why I am emailing you. It makes no sense. It made sense in my head. I was watching Grey’s Anatomy and looking through vimeos. I thought; “what if I decided to lose weight, and I emailed someone to keep me accountable?” It’s embarassing to say “I’m on a diet” or “I’m trying to lose weight” So I wanted to email someone I didn’t know.

Have you ever helped someone lose weight? I wonder how it works. You don’t have to email me back. I totally understand if you don’t. I don’t know if I’d email a random person with such an odd request back. But. If you do, I’d appreciate it. It’ll help to have a dialogue. An accountability dialogue.

Thanks.